It is strange how people know very little about themselves actually. Only when you are put in a certain situation can you know for sure how you are going to react. I had to learn this the hard way as you will learn in my story about how I discovered oxytocin and how it helped my acting career that was always a dream of mine. It is also strange how you can think that you are predestined for something, only to realize later on that there is a part of you that seems to be against it all and that can prevent you from following your dreams. Still, it’s best to start from the top.
It is not strange for little girls to dream about becoming actresses. I have been one of those girls since I can remember. I never wanted to do anything else. I didn’t want to become a doctor, or a lawyer or a singer. Only an actress. I really cannot remember a day when this was not my dream. And I did everything I could to become an actress. Whenever there was a play of any kind in kindergarten, elementary school, high school or whatever I was attending at the time, I was there. Doing my best to shine on the stage.
I pursued my dream further and I enrolled a drama school. My talent was soon acknowledged by more than few of my professors and I was simply ecstatic. Everything seemed to be going in the direction I always wanted my acting career to go. On my sophomore year, I was given a chance to play the starring role in a play that my school put on every year. It was quite a big deal and I was so happy that I could barely breathe when I got the news. I did my best at rehearsals and everything was going perfectly. And then came the premiere night.
I still get the shakes when I remember that night. It was the night that I met my demons, my anxiety and my shyness that were paralyzing. It is a difficult thing to explain to someone who has never had that problem. There is nothing you can do or think that would get you out of that quicksand. You are there, gasping for air and looking for help. But no one notices. They do not know what is going on in your head and you are alone. The sweat starts oozing out of every pore on your body and you just stand there like a deer in head lights.
I had to fake an illness which was not difficult considering that I was throwing up like the girl from Exorcist. Luckily one of my friends was able to replace me and afterwards, I came clean to my professor. He told me that it was nothing strange and that people often experience this the first time they are involved in a major production. He told me that there is one thing that can be of help and he told me about oxytocin. I was apprehensive as I thought it was some sort of prescription medication. As it turned out, it was just a supplement that you take and which relies on the action of oxytocin and some other natural ingredients in order to alleviate anxiety and do away with shyness.
The next performance, I was more than ready. I used oxytocin and I was feeling on top of the world. I was acting like never before in my life and people noticed. I was the star of the night and I was once again ecstatic about my career. These days, every time I feel the anxiety and the shyness creeping in, I resort to my oxytocin. And it happens less and less frequently as time goes by.